Phee phi pho phum. Never could resist the Greek alphabet. As certain obscure characters would have observed, there is a certain air of defiance about them, superannuated though they may be. And so I grasp the omega and drive the psi into the stem, clinging on to gammas and thetas on the way up. Up. And up.
In a totally non-literary (and hence, unimaginative) view of things, I notice how succulent the beanstalk actually is. Green and tender. Huge dew drops drench me like rain itself. Amidst my trepidation of being trapped in a six foot diameter bubble and dying of the lack of oxygen at high altitude, I can’t help but wonder at this – freak?- of nature that has enraptured me much like a butterfly captivates a child’s attention; there is no fear of the thing itself. And childlike curiosity leads me on to discover more. I climb, thinking what an excellent find this is- now I can have greens all year around. Clearly, the rules of climate do not apply.
There is a distant tree house. Or is it a pod. “Come on, me boy. It ain’t peas you’ll find there.” Right you are, I tell myself, and continue on the leafy path. And an iPod falls on me. So much for not finding pods. I turn it around in my palm and look approvingly upon 120 GB of pure, high quality music. I can SEE music. And the air fills up with musical notes that none on Earth can deciph. I use my newfound knowledge to weave music, much like Eru in the Silmarillion. Then the beanstalk sways. Who’s Jack, I wonder? Who’s the giant?
Am I the giant? Or has Jack mistaken the diminutive figure a thousand feet up to be an anthropoid of gargantuan proportions? The beanstalk crashes, the iPod does a double flip, and the music stops. I fall back supine and close my eyes in deference to the Grim Reaper, who clearly has a problem approaching beanstalks. His scythe splits asunder when it strikes the stalk, and I laugh. I laugh with joy for the cerulean waters that surround me, I laugh for the green that has now enveloped my very being. And the music starts playing again. Oh, sweet symphony that one may never hear in real life……